9/17/2019 What a Trip!
It's been some time since I've written a blog post, but my friend Cavans' posting on Facebook has inspired me to be a little more open than I have for the past while. It's been exactly a year since the last time I made a blog post and a lot has been accomplished. I actually didn't intend to do that, just a crazy coincidence. Life's stranger than fiction huh? I've completed three 18 credit school semesters and am currently in a 16 credit semester, the first of two I need to complete in order to graduate. In a week I'll be taking the HSK 5 Chinese literacy exam, that I've been preparing for for some time. And, this year may be the first time that I need to file taxes on my creative project earnings. I'm even becoming a producer/director for some upcoming projects. All in all, great stuff.
I did experience one failed relationship, but I didn't seem very affected by it. It was pretty clear it wasn't working out and I was just holding onto it with grim determination. It's pretty clear we're both substantially happier now that things are over. I've got plenty of dating opportunities available to me now. But if I'm not attracted to the person after 2-3 dates, it's a pretty good sign I'm wasting both of our time. That's what effectively happened last time. So, that means trying to get to know more people that are out of my league, which has resulted in a lot of rejection. I feel like, ultimately, that's the better move though. Especially when I have so little time between school and work to develop relationships. High risk, potentially high reward if it ever works out for me.
I hate school. It's a huge drain on my resources that I would rather spend on collecting wealth, developing my skills independently, or dating. At the same time, I've gotten this incredibly cool opportunity to get some experience in land development and try to create cheaper housing for the Utah market. One of the most emotionally and ethically fulfilling ideas I can imagine pursuing in business. I've only got about eight more months to worry about school. I was hoping that I would be able to coast through these last couple semesters, but in my complacency I've let my grades slip early on and I need to work extra hard to keep two of my grades above a C. But as long as I pass I truly could not care less.
I have a bookshelf full of books I want to read and I want to become more of an autodidact. However, school demands a bare minimum of time and mental energy. I want to exercise more and get myself in tip-top shape, but I need to work my two part-time jobs enough to continue to pay for school as I go. I want to earn more money and develop my artistic skill further - you get the idea. Part of me hates myself for using these excuses to come up with reasons to not push myself harder, but I genuinely feel I'm a little tapped out. The best I can seem to do for now is keep passing school classes and pay for them while keeping a handful of hobbies going to not lose my mind. DnD and arts projects seem to be the go-to right now.
I like to think that my life will be dramatically different after I graduate college, but it really won't be. The only difference will be that I have more time at my disposal and a piece of paper that will allow me to increase my income by a pretty wide margin. Which, isn't nothing, but it's not an incredible revelation that makes my life easy from that point on.
Geeze, I really am no fun. I talk about my life and goals as if it was some dry historical record. I wanna have fun! I wanna travel and enjoy my loved ones! I do stuff that's exciting, expressive and enjoyable, there's just so much garbage in the way of the meat of it. I'm not dead yet, and until I am, I intend to keep audaciously daring to exist and strive for things better than myself.
I did experience one failed relationship, but I didn't seem very affected by it. It was pretty clear it wasn't working out and I was just holding onto it with grim determination. It's pretty clear we're both substantially happier now that things are over. I've got plenty of dating opportunities available to me now. But if I'm not attracted to the person after 2-3 dates, it's a pretty good sign I'm wasting both of our time. That's what effectively happened last time. So, that means trying to get to know more people that are out of my league, which has resulted in a lot of rejection. I feel like, ultimately, that's the better move though. Especially when I have so little time between school and work to develop relationships. High risk, potentially high reward if it ever works out for me.
I hate school. It's a huge drain on my resources that I would rather spend on collecting wealth, developing my skills independently, or dating. At the same time, I've gotten this incredibly cool opportunity to get some experience in land development and try to create cheaper housing for the Utah market. One of the most emotionally and ethically fulfilling ideas I can imagine pursuing in business. I've only got about eight more months to worry about school. I was hoping that I would be able to coast through these last couple semesters, but in my complacency I've let my grades slip early on and I need to work extra hard to keep two of my grades above a C. But as long as I pass I truly could not care less.
I have a bookshelf full of books I want to read and I want to become more of an autodidact. However, school demands a bare minimum of time and mental energy. I want to exercise more and get myself in tip-top shape, but I need to work my two part-time jobs enough to continue to pay for school as I go. I want to earn more money and develop my artistic skill further - you get the idea. Part of me hates myself for using these excuses to come up with reasons to not push myself harder, but I genuinely feel I'm a little tapped out. The best I can seem to do for now is keep passing school classes and pay for them while keeping a handful of hobbies going to not lose my mind. DnD and arts projects seem to be the go-to right now.
I like to think that my life will be dramatically different after I graduate college, but it really won't be. The only difference will be that I have more time at my disposal and a piece of paper that will allow me to increase my income by a pretty wide margin. Which, isn't nothing, but it's not an incredible revelation that makes my life easy from that point on.
Geeze, I really am no fun. I talk about my life and goals as if it was some dry historical record. I wanna have fun! I wanna travel and enjoy my loved ones! I do stuff that's exciting, expressive and enjoyable, there's just so much garbage in the way of the meat of it. I'm not dead yet, and until I am, I intend to keep audaciously daring to exist and strive for things better than myself.
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